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Mike-Ross
Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog.
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Mike-Ross
Breaking News! I don't care
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Mike-Ross
Life could be worse. Milk could have pulp.
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Mike-Ross
I do not snore! I just dreams I'm a motorcycle
Mike-Ross
I miss hating the summer heat
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kylesportsman
I don't mind and you don't matter.
FoxIsHere
Why is it that the one who snores always goes to sleep first!
Mike-Ross
I wanna be like a caterpillar, eat a lot, sleep loads and then wake up beautiful
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Mike-Ross
Just two more payments and it's all mine
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Mike-Ross
Being a baby must be traumatizing at times.
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Mike-Ross
Winter hold on. I ain't got a man, a coat, iron pills, nothing
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Mike-Ross
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Mike-Ross
If you have the power to make someone happy, do it.
Mike-Ross
How's everything going? You taking care of yourself?
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Mike-Ross
I love waving at random people
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Mike-Ross
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed
$No I can't do snapchat or tiktok but I can write in cursive, do math without a calculator and tell time on a clock with hands.$

FoxIsHere
No I can't do snapchat or tiktok but I can write in cursive, do math without a calculator and tell time on a clock with hands.
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timboss
Sometimes the only thing I can say is "Really?"
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FreeThinker71
When you realize that there is a Friday the 13th in January this year.
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Mike-Ross
Toilet stolen from police station...cops have nothing to go on.
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RonnySteel
I'm not crazy, I prefer the term mentally hilarious
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Mike-Ross
No one runs in your family
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Mike-Ross
I remember years ago when all i wanted to be was older. I was wrong!
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Mike-Ross
Did you know? Line dancing was started by women waiting to use the bathroom
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Mike-Ross
Banana Language
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Mike-Ross
Always believe that something wonderful is going to happen.
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Mike-Ross
"I feel like you're always making up rules and stuff"
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Mike-Ross
I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.
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FreeThinker71
Pros and cons of making kids.
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FoxIsHere
My doctor asked if any member of my family suffered from insanity...I said nope, we all seem to enjoy it!
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JamieFlower
Alexa, take down the Christmas decorations
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RoseKiss
I told the doctor i broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
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- minion
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RonnySteel
When a woman laughs during an argument...please know that the psycho part of her brain has just be activated!
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daisydoll
Very few people now this but the little pocket on your jeans is for your paycheck after taxes.
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daisydoll
Don't wear headphone without vacuuming.
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daisydoll
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
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FoxIsHere
Date someone who looks at you like a minion looks at a banana
daisydoll
A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 and 6. He seemed irritated when I answered kindergarten.
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Mike-Ross
Parents will call you on the phone & spend the first 10 seconds talking to someone else in the background
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Mike-Ross
Marry someone who has opposite taste in food, so you don't have to share your food.
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Mike-Ross
Never forget three types of people in your life.
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Mike-Ross
4 Levels Of Crazy
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RoseKiss
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge
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FreeThinker71
Beyond every angry women stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
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RoseKiss
I'm not crazy, I'm just special!
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FreeThinker71
The oldest computer was owned by adam and eve. It was an apple with very limited memory. Just 1 byte and everything crashed.
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