20 Things To Look Out For When Going Through Menopause
People might tell you it’s perfectly natural and that it’s ‘all part of being a woman,’ but you know the truth. When you hit the menopause, it’s like hell on earth and then some. From growing hair on your chinny-chin-chin to gaining a few (hundred) extra pounds, this is quite possibly the worst time of your life. Here are some things you will definitely get!
1. YOU START TO CRY AT DAYTIME TV SHOWS
All those hormones rushing around your body are causing you to go a little cuckoo, which means that you cry at basically anything. URGH.
2. YOU FIND HAIR IN THE MOST RANDOM PLACES.
When you start finding hair on your chin, you know that things are not going to plan. For some silly reason, the menopause makes you grow hair in the most ridiculous of places. Yeah, because that seems fair.
3. SLEEPING AT NIGHT IS BASICALLY IMPOSSIBLE
Menopause insomnia is a real thing and it’s horrible. When everyone else has gone to sleep, you’re still awake… You lie there wondering why you’re so hot and why you can’t sleep.
4. YOU WANT CHOCOLATE… ALL THE CHOCOLATE
When you finally gat a minute to yourself, all you can think about is eating all the chocolate in the world. You find yourself daydreaming about it all the time, but know that there will never be enough chocolate to fill the void.
5. AND THEN, YOU START GAINING WEIGHT LIKE CRAZY
Maybe it’s the fact that you just devoured twenty chocolate bars or maybe it’s the fact that your metabolism has retired… Either way, you start to gain weight like mad!
6. SOMETIMES, YOU CAN’T REMEMBER YOUR OWN NAME
When it comes down to it, you actually start to forget the most basic of things. To where you put your keys to what your name is, even the most simple of things seem to confuse you.
7. AND, YOU GET SCARED THAT IT’S LEFT YOU FOR GOOD
After a while, you genuinely start to believe that your brain has left you forever. It seems like you’ve got to a certain age and your brain’s said “Okay, I’m out now. Bye!”
8. YOU START BREAKING OUT LIKE A TEENAGER
You thought you were done with break-outs, right? Wrong! Now, you get to relive the pain of your teenage years once again. That means getting spots 24/7. JOY!
9. YOU START SAYING EXACTLY WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND
You know that you’re meant to keep all your mean comments inside, but sometimes that feels impossible. Before you know it, your mouth is moving and you’re telling the world just what you think of them. Oops.
10. WEIRD PARTS OF YOUR BODY START TO SWELL
If you liked your ankles just how they were, we have some news for you! It’s time to say bye bye to those petite little feet. From now on, your ankles will look like they belong to an elephant rather than a middle aged woman. YAY.
11. Mood swings are a way of life now
One minute you’re happy, the next you want to rip someone’s throat out… Yeah, welcome to the menopause. You will cry, laugh, shout and scream… probably all within twenty minutes or so.
12. IF SOMEONE TOUCHES YOU, YOU MIGHT JUST SCREAM
When people try to ‘comfort’ you with a hug, you feel like you might just have to scream in their face! Seriously, people need to get personal boundaries.
13. YOU STRUGGLE TO STOP SAYING SNIDE COMMENTS
There was a time when someone would annoy you a little and you’d simply smile and let it go… Well, those days are OVER. When someone says something stupid, you come down on them like a bag of bricks.
14. SOMETIMES, YOU GENUINELY FEEL LIKE YOU’RE GOING INSANE
At some point, you will genuinely think that you’ve lost the plot completely. After all, you can’t remember what happened this morning and you NEED some chocolate.
15. HOT FLASHES, HOT FLASHES, HOT FLASHES
You’d heard myths about hot flashes before you hit menopause, but you NEVER imagined that it could be this bad!
16. YOU CONSIDER SITTING IN THE FRIDGE FOR AN HOUR OR SO
Sometimes, you get so hot that the only option seems to be sitting in the fridge. But, for some reason, this type of behavior is not acceptable. What on earth is that all about, eh?
17. YOU SWEAT MORE THAN YOU THOUGHT HUMANLY POSSIBLE
Throughout the day, you feel as though you sweat out enough liquid to fill up all the oceans in the world. Basically, you never feel clean.
18. YET SOMEHOW YOU STILL RETAIN WATER
But, somehow, even after sweating out all of that excess water, you still have a water retention problem, which means that you end up bloated.
19. ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS EAT… AND THEN EAT SOME MORE
Food is now your life. It has replaced your social life, your sex life and your downtime. Basically, if you’re not sleeping or working, you will be eating.
20. YOU’RE ALWAYS ON THE WAR PATH
Anger is now your middle name, which means that no one should stand in your way ever! When you’re in one of your moods, people better run!
