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Mike-Ross
I remember years ago when all i wanted to be was older. I was wrong!
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Mike-Ross
Did you know? Line dancing was started by women waiting to use the bathroom
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Mike-Ross
Banana Language
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Mike-Ross
Always believe that something wonderful is going to happen.
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Mike-Ross
I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.
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RoseKiss
I told the doctor i broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
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FoxIsHere
Date someone who looks at you like a minion looks at a banana
daisydoll
A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 and 6. He seemed irritated when I answered kindergarten.
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Mike-Ross
Never forget three types of people in your life.
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RoseKiss
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge
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RoseKiss
I'm not crazy, I'm just special!
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FreeThinker71
The oldest computer was owned by adam and eve. It was an apple with very limited memory. Just 1 byte and everything crashed.
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Mike-Ross
Have you ever just looked at someone and said...."Seriously?"
Mike-Ross
Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. Worst people give you a lesson. And best people give you memories.
Mike-Ross
I just ran 5 miles and what a workout! I didn't think that ice cream truck would ever stop.
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Mike-Ross
We all know mirrors don't like...I'm just grateful that they don't laugh.
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Mike-Ross
No matter what people think of you...always keep smiling and walk away
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Mike-Ross
I seriously just wanna cuddle up and watch an old disney movie with hot chocolate and ignore life and everyone and everything
Mike-Ross
When you get comfortable in bed but have to pee
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Mike-Ross
I made a huge to do list for today
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Mike-Ross
Merry Christmas To All The Angels In Heaven Never Forgotten!
Mike-Ross
Everybody is fighting their own unique war
Mike-Ross
How to speak Minion
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Mike-Ross
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper.
Mike-Ross
I hate that moment when you're tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed, your body is like just kidding...
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JamieFlower
No I don't want to build a snowman
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Mike-Ross
I'm not available in HD...highly deranged!
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Mike-Ross
Breaking News, Stupidity Has Taken Over The World
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Mike-Ross
How to avoid stress at work
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Mike-Ross
I didn't order a glass of your opinion
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Mike-Ross
I hate how chocolate immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am I that hot?
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Mike-Ross
I'm ready to start my christmas shopping. Who's got some money I can use
Mike-Ross
Y'all better enjoy your 20s, 30s, and 40s. Because in your 50s that check engine light is gonna come on.
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Mike-Ross
I wish my bank account filled up as fast as my laundry basket
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Mike-Ross
I often wonder what it is like to be normal. I mean, do these people ever have any fun???
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Mike-Ross
Don't marry a rich man. Marry a good man.
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Mike-Ross
Sometimes I wish my mouth had a backspace key
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Mike-Ross
I'm not getting old. I'm just becoming a classic.
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Mike-Ross
Happy Hour Is A Nap
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Mike-Ross
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Mike-Ross
Who needs another day added to the weekend?
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Mike-Ross
I'm not going outside until the temperature is above my age
Mike-Ross
Sometimes when i close my eyes i can't see.
Mike-Ross
Don't get annoyed by parents asking you 'stupid' tech advice you think they should know. These are the people who taught you how to use a toilet. Just help them.
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