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Similar to I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with my true love...food.

Mike-Ross
When your boyfriend stops paying attention to you for .2 seconds
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kylesportsman
My girl when she's not getting any attention
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When you're obsessed with your man
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MarissaRocks
May if i fall in love with my problems, they'll leave me too
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timboss
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timboss
If a time traveller hasn't come back to stop me from what I'm doing then maybe what I'm doing isn't that bad
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daisydoll
Your next task is to eat without watching youtube
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daisydoll
Me rehearsing how I'll be telling my struggles in the interviews after becoming successful
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Idk what bro going through but I feel him
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RonnySteel
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RonnySteel
When I was 13 Vs Now That I'm 23
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kylesportsman
Keep your relationship private so you can have two
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When your best friend motivates you
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kylesportsman
Me trying to think of a way to not go to the thing i just committed to 30 seconds ago.
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My relationship is so private, my partner doesn't even know I exist
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kylesportsman
Class is cancelled - These three words are better than I love you
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Mike-Ross
My mood 24-7
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When you accidentally send a screenshot to the person you screenshotted
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Mike-Ross
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timboss
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Dating me & posting me ain't enough. I wanna be with you on your driver's license.
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timboss
I'm amazing! Everyday I turn water into coffee
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JamieFlower
Me wondering how I've managed to spend all my money when we're only half way through the month
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RoseKiss
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Me the night before a shift wishing that the power would fail at my work so i can have a day off
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There's a very good chance that I'm probably sleeping
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Adult life is spending every Sunday wishing that you didn't have to go to work the next day
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daisydoll
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Mike-Ross
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Mike-Ross
Me and my fav coworker trying to emotional prepare ourselves at the start of every shift
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Mike-Ross
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Mike-Ross
Me in the bathroom at work trying to figure out if i should get back to work or keep hiding
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MarissaRocks
"The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes" Who??? Who are these people???
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MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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Dreamer
I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.
Dreamer
I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
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RonnySteel
That 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog
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Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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MarissaRocks
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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Mike-Ross
If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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Me looking at my friend if we saw the same thing.
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Me telling my problems to my pet
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