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Similar to My mom when she brushed my hair for school

RoseKiss
Ever get really excited to finally have some time off, but then just end up spending the entire day like this...
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RoseKiss
There's a very good chance that I'm probably sleeping
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RoseKiss
Some coworkers really do turn into friends who you honestly couldn't imagine your life without
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RoseKiss
Adult life is spending every Sunday wishing that you didn't have to go to work the next day
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Staying up late always seems like a great idea until you set your alarm and realize you only have a couple hours until you need to be up for work
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RoseKiss
Trying to get emotionally prepared for the work day ahead
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daisydoll
I'm fifty years old, I was on a heating pad eating cheetos
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Mike-Ross
I can't wait to walk down the aisle...to find my seat on the plane
Mike-Ross
Me and my fav coworker trying to emotional prepare ourselves at the start of every shift
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Mike-Ross
Please be nicer to your colleagues
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Mike-Ross
Me on my lunch break deciding whether or not I should go back to work
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Mike-Ross
Me in the bathroom at work trying to figure out if i should get back to work or keep hiding
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MarissaRocks
"The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes" Who??? Who are these people???
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MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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Dreamer
I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.
Dreamer
I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
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RonnySteel
That 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog
MarissaRocks
Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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MarissaRocks
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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Mike-Ross
If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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Me looking at my friend if we saw the same thing.
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Me telling my problems to my pet
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Your cat is not your baby
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Me recharging for 6 months after going out one Saturday night.
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Me on self-care nights treating myself the way i deserve.
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Me waiting for a text back after I said leave me alone
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How me and my bestie gonna be in 60 years
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When i say extra caramel, this is what I mean
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Mike-Ross
When your kid is bad but you still love him
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Just call me if you need me....also my phone:
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Mike-Ross
When i say more sour cream this what I mean
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Me after eating food
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Seeing my sister happy is priceless
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Me listening to a conversation that's none of my business
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Mike-Ross
I miss the good ole days when bills didn't have my name on them.
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Mike-Ross
Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.
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Mike-Ross
I never met a problem i couldn't make worse.
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Every day i wake up wanting to be nice, Then people ruin it for me.
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Mike-Ross
Once upon a time, I was young, fun and semi-sane. Then i joined facebook and met all of you
Mike-Ross
If you call me on speaker phone, remember that is a huge mistake for you
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Mike-Ross
You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage.
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waterbaby
Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
daisydoll
Does anyone else check their facebook like the morning paper?
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daisydoll
Yesterday I did nothing. Today I'm finishing what I started today.
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daisydoll
The rich get richer, the lazy live for free, the middle class continue to pay for it all. Follow me for more reality checks
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daisydoll
I thought growing old would take longer.
daisydoll
I wish facebook would notify me when someone unfriends me so i could like it
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daisydoll
The best part of waking up...is still a mystery to me
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daisydoll
Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themself
Mike-Ross
Work can't stress you out if you just don't go in...
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Mike-Ross
Dear 8 hours sleep, i miss you so much.
Mike-Ross
I stress about stress before there's even stress to stress about.
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Hardest thing ever: controlling your laughter at serious times
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Mike-Ross
Warning: my mouth is a bit like a magician's hat...you just never know what's gonna come out of it.
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Mike-Ross
Did I lock the door? I have to go back
Mike-Ross
I'm 35 but my back in 57. My knee? She turns 73 on Tuesday
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Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way
Mike-Ross
You never know what you have until...you clean your room
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Mike-Ross
You ever had suck a bad day at work that you just came home and sat like this until you calmed down
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Mike-Ross
When you get to work and your colleague who is always late is actually there before you
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Mike-Ross
Me after playing detective
Pixlove
I Dont Always Tolerate Stupid People
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Pixlove
Funny Dogs Being Dogs
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When Youre Having A Rough Day But Trying To Stay Positive
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