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Similar to Imagine the lawyer who has to argue his dui case

RoseKiss
Ever get really excited to finally have some time off, but then just end up spending the entire day like this...
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There's a very good chance that I'm probably sleeping
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Some coworkers really do turn into friends who you honestly couldn't imagine your life without
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Adult life is spending every Sunday wishing that you didn't have to go to work the next day
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Staying up late always seems like a great idea until you set your alarm and realize you only have a couple hours until you need to be up for work
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RoseKiss
Trying to get emotionally prepared for the work day ahead
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daisydoll
I'm fifty years old, I was on a heating pad eating cheetos
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Mike-Ross
I can't wait to walk down the aisle...to find my seat on the plane
Mike-Ross
Me and my fav coworker trying to emotional prepare ourselves at the start of every shift
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Please be nicer to your colleagues
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Mike-Ross
Me on my lunch break deciding whether or not I should go back to work
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Me in the bathroom at work trying to figure out if i should get back to work or keep hiding
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MarissaRocks
"The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes" Who??? Who are these people???
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MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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Dreamer
I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.
Dreamer
I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
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RonnySteel
That 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog
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Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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MarissaRocks
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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Mike-Ross
If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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Me looking at my friend if we saw the same thing.
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Me telling my problems to my pet
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Your cat is not your baby
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Me recharging for 6 months after going out one Saturday night.
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Me waiting for a text back after I said leave me alone
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When i say extra caramel, this is what I mean
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When your kid is bad but you still love him
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Just call me if you need me....also my phone:
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When i say more sour cream this what I mean
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Seeing my sister happy is priceless
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Me listening to a conversation that's none of my business
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I miss the good ole days when bills didn't have my name on them.
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Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.
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I never met a problem i couldn't make worse.
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Every day i wake up wanting to be nice, Then people ruin it for me.
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Once upon a time, I was young, fun and semi-sane. Then i joined facebook and met all of you
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If you call me on speaker phone, remember that is a huge mistake for you
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You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage.
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waterbaby
Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
daisydoll
Does anyone else check their facebook like the morning paper?
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daisydoll
Yesterday I did nothing. Today I'm finishing what I started today.
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daisydoll
The rich get richer, the lazy live for free, the middle class continue to pay for it all. Follow me for more reality checks
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daisydoll
I thought growing old would take longer.
daisydoll
I wish facebook would notify me when someone unfriends me so i could like it
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daisydoll
The best part of waking up...is still a mystery to me
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daisydoll
Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themself
Mike-Ross
Work can't stress you out if you just don't go in...
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Dear 8 hours sleep, i miss you so much.
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I stress about stress before there's even stress to stress about.
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Hardest thing ever: controlling your laughter at serious times
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Mike-Ross
Warning: my mouth is a bit like a magician's hat...you just never know what's gonna come out of it.
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Did I lock the door? I have to go back
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I'm 35 but my back in 57. My knee? She turns 73 on Tuesday
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Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way
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You never know what you have until...you clean your room
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You ever had suck a bad day at work that you just came home and sat like this until you calmed down
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Mike-Ross
When you get to work and your colleague who is always late is actually there before you
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Me after playing detective
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I Dont Always Tolerate Stupid People
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