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Similar to I hope that This Thanksgiving....you get constipation

Mike-Ross
A man who cooks is attractive. A man who does the dishes is irresistible
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If you have kids...this collection is called "Not mine"
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I'm old enough to remember when a wild night out meant skating around in circles while a DJ played music
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Today, year olds are asking for the latest iPhone. When I was , I felt like id won the lottery if i had this pen
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One minute you're young and fun and the next minute you predict the weather with your bad knee
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Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say "don't waste electricity"?
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When your boyfriend stops paying attention to you for .2 seconds
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kylesportsman
I accept apologies but I remove trust
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When my significant other calls me baby for the first time
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MarissaRocks
May if i fall in love with my problems, they'll leave me too
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timboss
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When you are winning the argument with facts and they start attacking you personally besides the topic
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daisydoll
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RonnySteel
Do you ever just wanna...
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Put the food in your mouth, not in your story
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Me trying to think of a way to not go to the thing i just committed to 30 seconds ago.
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Dating me & posting me ain't enough. I wanna be with you on your driver's license.
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I'm amazing! Everyday I turn water into coffee
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JamieFlower
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RoseKiss
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Me the night before a shift wishing that the power would fail at my work so i can have a day off
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Ever get really excited to finally have some time off, but then just end up spending the entire day like this...
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Adult life is spending every Sunday wishing that you didn't have to go to work the next day
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daisydoll
I'm fifty years old, I was on a heating pad eating cheetos
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MarissaRocks
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waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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Dreamer
I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.

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