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Mike-Ross
When you take 17 selfies and still look like this
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My dad made this for when his girlfriend won't pick a restaurant
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My toxic trait is telling people I'm down for anything.
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I'm just sitting here with my onion rings
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How often do you exercise?
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Black Cat Close Up Inside Jack O Lantern
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Black Cat Inside Pumpkin
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Smiling Witch With Ginger Cat
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That "no work tomorrow" sleep be hitting different
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The idea of being able to sleep in on your day off sounds great until your body naturally just wakes you up early anyway
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How single are you right now?
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Me after arguing with the whole house
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Mike-Ross
When you're ready for Fall but wake up to another hot day
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Me watching Halloween for the 34677496 time.
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Me when I smell pumpkin spice
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When someone says you look like you already have plans for Halloween
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$100 on groceries, $1000 on Halloween
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Me and my homies in October
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Figuring out where I'll fit more Halloween decor like
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Me trying to get in the Christmas spirit like...
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I got horror movies + pizza
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My Happy Place
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So, have you started getting ready for Halloween yet?
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Every other Target in the world vs My Target
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My bank account, me and spooky decorations I don't need
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Me putting up regular house decorations
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Waiting for Halloween like...
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The two types of people most excited for Autumn
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Halloween season approaching
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When you're trying to pay your bills on time but there's Halloween stuff in all the stores
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The spider after I take down his web and then hang up a fake web for Halloween
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When you thought you heard your Halloween decor hit the ground but it was just your husband falling down the stairs
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If stores could stop putting glittery crap on all the Halloween decorations
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Sees one leaf on the ground
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I'm going to the store to get a few Halloween decorations
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Me judging my neighbors for no putting up any Halloween decorations.
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Watching my neighbors put up Christmas lights while I still have pumpkins rotting on my porch
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I love the smell of October in the morning
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Randomly stopping to admire my Halloween decorations like
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When Halloween is your favorite holiday but you're starting to get in the Christmas spirit
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Halloween decorations can't also be Christmas decorations
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When you're dead inside but it's the holidays
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- holiday
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- halloween
Mike-Ross
Me after realizing I can make Christmas spooky
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- spooky
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Mike-Ross
I don't want flowers! I said I like dead stuff and bones.
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Hear me out, a party bus but it stops at coffee shops, pumpkin patches and haunted houses

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