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Apparently laying in bed and yelling "Coffee pot activate" is not a thing. Why is that not a thing yet?
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I prefer loneliness over fake company.
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It may look like me and my favorite coworker are always arguing, but really that's our way of communicating
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Aging may have slowed me down, but it hasn't shut me up
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By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you...blocked & deleted.
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If you see me running, you better run too cuz there's something chasing me!
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Paychecks and weekends have a lot in common...they are short and don't last long enough.
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Waking up in the morning be like:
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I can't decide if i need a big hug, a large cup of coffee, or three days of sleep
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Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it
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I wish i was asleep yet here I am
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Karma has no menu, you are served what you deserve!
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They say laughter is the best medicine. They lied, it's really coffee.
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