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The 5 second rule for food
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The older you get, the more dangerous it is to sneeze!
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I saw people through the window today
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She's my bestfriend
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I wonder how cops on bikes arrest people?
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The first thing I do when I wake up is try to sleep again
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Nothing is impossible with the right attitude and a hammer
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7 Happiness Tips
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I started the week with a big box of patience. The box is empty now
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My holiday equals...
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The real definition of "Never mind" is "You shouldn't listened the first time"
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I don't know how exactly when the UFO landed & dumped off all these stupid people
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Best Feeling Ever
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My sister when she need something vs my sister most of the time
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I'm weird! But I know you love me
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In my family, if you're normal then you're adopted.
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If you want to change the world, do it while you're single.
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I'm not short. I'm just compact and ridiculously adorable
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I don't like to think before I speak.
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if you could read my mind. You'd back away slowly then run for your life!!
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Having a rough day?
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You can't choose your family but you can ignore their phone calls
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My alone time is for your own safety!
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Rivers never go reverse.
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My bed is a magical place
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My money just waves goodbye
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When you're in a restaurant and you see your food coming
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Hello! You've reached my profile
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The love between Mother & daughter is forever!
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I'm so glad friends don't come with price tags.
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You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me
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I recently applied for a part time job at a mental hospital.
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I love how in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?"
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Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.
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You know why you like me? Because you are freaking crazy too
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Sometimes I just wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old and the energy of a 3 year old
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My secret talent
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My attitude is based on how you treat me.
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The one who laughs last, didn't get the joke.
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Breaking News! I don't care
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Life could be worse. Milk could have pulp.
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I do not snore! I just dreams I'm a motorcycle
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I don't mind and you don't matter.
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Why is it that the one who snores always goes to sleep first!
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I wanna be like a caterpillar, eat a lot, sleep loads and then wake up beautiful
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Being a baby must be traumatizing at times.
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Don't be too hard on yourself.
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If you have the power to make someone happy, do it.

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