Similar to I Need A Vacation...Someone Kidnap Me Please?

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Mike-Ross
One day you'll see why God made you wait.
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Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone in the river
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Be yourself. People don't have to like you, and you don't have to care
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My personality is who I am, but my attitude depends on who you are
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Happy Minion. Hello April, Goodbye March
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Note to self: just because it pops into my head does not mean it should come out of my mouth.
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You know it's a bad day when your imaginary friend files a retraining order against you.
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Things to do today
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Back in my day, people used to take photos that had other people in them.
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6 things we say in school
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The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding
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I am convinced that the hardest language to speak for some is the truth
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Always be positive.
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Current Relationship Status
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Choose someone who will be proud of you, even if you're not the best
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5 Deadly Terms Used By A Woman
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Today is your golden day and make your stand
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I am one step away from being rich, all i need now is money
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I'm not crazy, I'm just special.
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Everyone says you should follow your dreams...so I'm going back to bed.
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The only advice i can give is stay single
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My wifi went down for 5 minutes so i had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
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When your friend tells you a story for the fifth time.
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I look back on my life and I'm extremely impressed that I'm still alive.
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Some people just need a high five.
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Don't make the same mistake
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I deserve an award for being way too nice to people who surely don't deserve.
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Told someone to spell orange and she asked "The fruit or the color?"
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Not everyone is meant to be in your future.
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Some people will hurt you and then act like you hurt them
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Welcome. Today's specials are...
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One of these days, I'm going to go on vacation and forget to come back.
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Life is full of give and take...give thanks and take nothing for granted.
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I need God in every single moment of my life.
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My dog doesn't have a bike!
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Sometimes, it's not the song that makes you emotional, it's the people and things that come to your mind when your hear it.
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My parents had a TV like this. I remember because I was the remote
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Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning
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Don't rush me. I'm still deciding whether to be productive today or not!
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Do what is right for you. No one else is walking in your shoes
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Alright, who left the bag of idiots open.
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Which minion mood are you feeling today?
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Always remember these 2 words: they will open all the doors of life. Push and pull

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