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Mike-Ross
Being a baby must be traumatizing at times.
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Mike-Ross
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Mike-Ross
If you have the power to make someone happy, do it.
Mike-Ross
I love waving at random people
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Mike-Ross
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed
timboss
Sometimes the only thing I can say is "Really?"
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Mike-Ross
Toilet stolen from police station...cops have nothing to go on.
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RonnySteel
I'm not crazy, I prefer the term mentally hilarious
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Mike-Ross
No one runs in your family
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Mike-Ross
I remember years ago when all i wanted to be was older. I was wrong!
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Mike-Ross
Did you know? Line dancing was started by women waiting to use the bathroom
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Mike-Ross
Banana Language
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Mike-Ross
Always believe that something wonderful is going to happen.
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Mike-Ross
I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.
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FoxIsHere
My doctor asked if any member of my family suffered from insanity...I said nope, we all seem to enjoy it!
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RoseKiss
I told the doctor i broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
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FoxIsHere
Date someone who looks at you like a minion looks at a banana
daisydoll
A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 and 6. He seemed irritated when I answered kindergarten.
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Mike-Ross
Never forget three types of people in your life.
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Mike-Ross
4 Levels Of Crazy
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RoseKiss
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge
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FreeThinker71
Beyond every angry women stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
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RoseKiss
I'm not crazy, I'm just special!
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FreeThinker71
The oldest computer was owned by adam and eve. It was an apple with very limited memory. Just 1 byte and everything crashed.
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JamieFlower
I'm not sure if my body can handle much more of this "getting out of bed" nonsense.
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Mike-Ross
When I get a headache. I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children just like it says on the bottle
Mike-Ross
Have you ever just looked at someone and said...."Seriously?"
Mike-Ross
Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. Worst people give you a lesson. And best people give you memories.
Mike-Ross
Time for Christmas chilling
Mike-Ross
I just ran 5 miles and what a workout! I didn't think that ice cream truck would ever stop.
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Mike-Ross
We all know mirrors don't like...I'm just grateful that they don't laugh.
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Mike-Ross
Sometimes I question my sanity, sometimes it replies!
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Mike-Ross
No matter what people think of you...always keep smiling and walk away
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Mike-Ross
I seriously just wanna cuddle up and watch an old disney movie with hot chocolate and ignore life and everyone and everything
Mike-Ross
God is watching over me
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Mike-Ross
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before new year
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Mike-Ross
When you get comfortable in bed but have to pee
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Mike-Ross
I made a huge to do list for today
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Mike-Ross
One step away from being rich, all i need now is money
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Mike-Ross
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself
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Mike-Ross
Dear Sleep: I'm sorry I hated you when I was a young kid. Right now I love you very much and I cherish every moment with you...
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$Sorry I can't go to work tomorrow. I fractured my motivation.$

Mike-Ross
Sorry I can't go to work tomorrow. I fractured my motivation.
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Mike-Ross
Need Coffee Now
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Mike-Ross
Road trippin with your crazy friends
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Mike-Ross
I'll soon be a genius!
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Mike-Ross
Whatever it is...I didn't do it!
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