Similar to Pocket Full Of Crazy

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Driving And Not Paying Attention Joke
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What Its Like To Be A Cat Owner
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I Love To Sit Home And Eat Snacks
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Apparently laying in bed and yelling "Coffee pot activate" is not a thing. Why is that not a thing yet?
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I can't adult without coffee
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Waiting for the coffee to kick in
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Be the reason someone smiles, or blocks you, whatever...
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I Just Found Out..
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I prefer loneliness over fake company.
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Sometimes I feel like running away. Then I remember how much i hate running.
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There is no success without taking risks
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Dear sleep, I'm sorry I hated you as a kid.
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The awkward moment...when you've already said what three times.
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When life give you lemons squirt someone in the eye.
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Me waking up for work everyday
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At this point my job is just paying me to be stressed 24-7
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It may look like me and my favorite coworker are always arguing, but really that's our way of communicating
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Me if i ever got all the money back that I've spent on coffee and snacks over the years
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Me at 8:05 when i should have left the house at 8am
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Aging may have slowed me down, but it hasn't shut me up
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I'm not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
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My three moods
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When you didn't get enough sleep and every thing is annoying you
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Waking up before 7am should be illegal
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When you're running and you accidentally hit your pinky toe on a piece of furniture
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By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you...blocked & deleted.
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If you see me running, you better run too cuz there's something chasing me!
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Me Looking At Food On My Page
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Paychecks and weekends have a lot in common...they are short and don't last long enough.
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I wish my bank account filled up as fast as my laundry basket
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Waking up in the morning be like:
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I'm not lazy. I just rest before i get tired.
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4 Stages Of Coffee
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I can't decide if i need a big hug, a large cup of coffee, or three days of sleep
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Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it
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I wish i was asleep yet here I am
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It's not about who wants you, it's about who values and respects you.
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Karma has no menu, you are served what you deserve!
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They say laughter is the best medicine. They lied, it's really coffee.
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I'm already bored of 2024. I think 2025 is my year for sure.
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Minion Happy New Year 2024!
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Christmas Calories Don't Count!
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