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Similar to Best Guard Bird

timboss
If a time traveller hasn't come back to stop me from what I'm doing then maybe what I'm doing isn't that bad
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daisydoll
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Idk what bro going through but I feel him
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RonnySteel
Put the food in your mouth, not in your story
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kylesportsman
Keep your relationship private so you can have two
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kylesportsman
Me trying to think of a way to not go to the thing i just committed to 30 seconds ago.
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kylesportsman
My relationship is so private, my partner doesn't even know I exist
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How my love life is going
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kylesportsman
Class is cancelled - These three words are better than I love you
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Mike-Ross
I hate when some website asks me "Are you human?"
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Mike-Ross
My mood 24-7
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Mike-Ross
Me after shaving their beards.
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Mike-Ross
I have no many responsibilities
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Mike-Ross
People can't use you if you are useless
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Mike-Ross
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Mike-Ross
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Mike-Ross
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When you tell someone you're broke and they try to comfort you instead of giving you money
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timboss
Shhh I'm hiding from Monday, bring coffee
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timboss
Dating me & posting me ain't enough. I wanna be with you on your driver's license.
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timboss
I'm amazing! Everyday I turn water into coffee
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JamieFlower
Me wondering how I've managed to spend all my money when we're only half way through the month
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RoseKiss
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Me the night before a shift wishing that the power would fail at my work so i can have a day off
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RoseKiss
Ever get really excited to finally have some time off, but then just end up spending the entire day like this...
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Adult life is spending every Sunday wishing that you didn't have to go to work the next day
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Staying up late always seems like a great idea until you set your alarm and realize you only have a couple hours until you need to be up for work
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Trying to get emotionally prepared for the work day ahead
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daisydoll
I'm fifty years old, I was on a heating pad eating cheetos
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I can't wait to walk down the aisle...to find my seat on the plane
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Me in the bathroom at work trying to figure out if i should get back to work or keep hiding
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MarissaRocks
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MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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Dreamer
I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.
Dreamer
I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
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RonnySteel
That 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog
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Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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MarissaRocks
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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Mike-Ross
If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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Mike-Ross
Me looking at my friend if we saw the same thing.
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Mike-Ross
Me telling my problems to my pet
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Your cat is not your baby
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Me recharging for 6 months after going out one Saturday night.
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Me on self-care nights treating myself the way i deserve.
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Me waiting for a text back after I said leave me alone
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How me and my bestie gonna be in 60 years
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When i say extra caramel, this is what I mean
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Just call me if you need me....also my phone:
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When i say more sour cream this what I mean
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Me after eating food
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