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Mike-Ross
A man who cooks is attractive. A man who does the dishes is irresistible
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If you have kids...this collection is called "Not mine"
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MarissaRocks
May if i fall in love with my problems, they'll leave me too
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timboss
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If a time traveller hasn't come back to stop me from what I'm doing then maybe what I'm doing isn't that bad
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daisydoll
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Keep your relationship private so you can have two
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If you are gonna talk behind my back, at least invite me, I hate that person too
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When you tell someone you're broke and they try to comfort you instead of giving you money
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Dating me & posting me ain't enough. I wanna be with you on your driver's license.
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timboss
I'm amazing! Everyday I turn water into coffee
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Me wondering how I've managed to spend all my money when we're only half way through the month
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There's a very good chance that I'm probably sleeping
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I can't wait to walk down the aisle...to find my seat on the plane
Mike-Ross
Me and my fav coworker trying to emotional prepare ourselves at the start of every shift
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MarissaRocks
"The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes" Who??? Who are these people???
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Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
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Dreamer
I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.
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RonnySteel
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Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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