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Similar to Removed A Wasp Nest. Neighbor Called Police

Mike-Ross
If you have kids...this collection is called "Not mine"
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Mike-Ross
I'm old enough to remember when a wild night out meant skating around in circles while a DJ played music
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Mike-Ross
Today, year olds are asking for the latest iPhone. When I was , I felt like id won the lottery if i had this pen
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Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say "don't waste electricity"?
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Mike-Ross
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kylesportsman
My girl when she's not getting any attention
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kylesportsman
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MarissaRocks
May if i fall in love with my problems, they'll leave me too
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timboss
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timboss
If a time traveller hasn't come back to stop me from what I'm doing then maybe what I'm doing isn't that bad
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daisydoll
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daisydoll
Me rehearsing how I'll be telling my struggles in the interviews after becoming successful
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RonnySteel
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RonnySteel
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RonnySteel
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Keep your relationship private so you can have two
kylesportsman
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Mike-Ross
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Me after shaving their beards.
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Mike-Ross
I have no many responsibilities
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People can't use you if you are useless
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2 hours of cooking just to eat everything in 10 minutes and now I've gotta wash everything
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timboss
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Dating me & posting me ain't enough. I wanna be with you on your driver's license.
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timboss
I'm amazing! Everyday I turn water into coffee
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JamieFlower
Me wondering how I've managed to spend all my money when we're only half way through the month
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RoseKiss
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RoseKiss
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Ever get really excited to finally have some time off, but then just end up spending the entire day like this...
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There's a very good chance that I'm probably sleeping
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Some coworkers really do turn into friends who you honestly couldn't imagine your life without
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daisydoll
I'm fifty years old, I was on a heating pad eating cheetos
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I can't wait to walk down the aisle...to find my seat on the plane
Mike-Ross
Me and my fav coworker trying to emotional prepare ourselves at the start of every shift
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Me on my lunch break deciding whether or not I should go back to work
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Me in the bathroom at work trying to figure out if i should get back to work or keep hiding
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MarissaRocks
"The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes" Who??? Who are these people???
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MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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Dreamer
I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.
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I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
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RonnySteel
That 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog
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Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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