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Similar to A man and his Rolls Royce

Mike-Ross
When you tell someone you're broke and they try to comfort you instead of giving you money
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timboss
Shhh I'm hiding from Monday, bring coffee
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Dating me & posting me ain't enough. I wanna be with you on your driver's license.
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timboss
I'm amazing! Everyday I turn water into coffee
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JamieFlower
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RoseKiss
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daisydoll
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Mike-Ross
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MarissaRocks
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MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
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Dreamer
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RonnySteel
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Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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MarissaRocks
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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Mike-Ross
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When i say extra caramel, this is what I mean
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When your kid is bad but you still love him
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Just call me if you need me....also my phone:
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When i say more sour cream this what I mean
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Mike-Ross
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Seeing my sister happy is priceless
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Me listening to a conversation that's none of my business
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Don't worry about getting older. You're still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.
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I never met a problem i couldn't make worse.
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Every day i wake up wanting to be nice, Then people ruin it for me.
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Mike-Ross
Once upon a time, I was young, fun and semi-sane. Then i joined facebook and met all of you
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If you call me on speaker phone, remember that is a huge mistake for you
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Mike-Ross
You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage.
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Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
daisydoll
Does anyone else check their facebook like the morning paper?
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Yesterday I did nothing. Today I'm finishing what I started today.
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daisydoll
The rich get richer, the lazy live for free, the middle class continue to pay for it all. Follow me for more reality checks
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daisydoll
I thought growing old would take longer.
daisydoll
I wish facebook would notify me when someone unfriends me so i could like it
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daisydoll
I'm here in body but not mind...my mind is in bed where my body wishes it could be
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The best part of waking up...is still a mystery to me
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daisydoll
Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themself
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I'm not bothered by my age, I just don't like all of the side effects.
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Mike-Ross
Work can't stress you out if you just don't go in...
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Mike-Ross
Dear 8 hours sleep, i miss you so much.
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I stress about stress before there's even stress to stress about.
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Warning: my mouth is a bit like a magician's hat...you just never know what's gonna come out of it.
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Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way

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