Similar to 85 Year Old Man With Younger Bride Joke

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MarissaRocks
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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Mike-Ross
If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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Mike-Ross
Me looking at my friend if we saw the same thing.
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Mike-Ross
Me telling my problems to my pet
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Mike-Ross
Your cat is not your baby
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Mike-Ross
Me recharging for 6 months after going out one Saturday night.
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Me on self-care nights treating myself the way i deserve.
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Me waiting for a text back after I said leave me alone
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How me and my bestie gonna be in 60 years
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Mike-Ross
When i say extra caramel, this is what I mean
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When your kid is bad but you still love him
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Mike-Ross
Just call me if you need me....also my phone:
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Mike-Ross
When i say more sour cream this what I mean
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Me after eating food
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Seeing my sister happy is priceless
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Me listening to a conversation that's none of my business
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Mike-Ross
I miss the good ole days when bills didn't have my name on them.
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Mike-Ross
Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.
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Mike-Ross
I never met a problem i couldn't make worse.
Mike-Ross
Every day i wake up wanting to be nice, Then people ruin it for me.
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Mike-Ross
Once upon a time, I was young, fun and semi-sane. Then i joined facebook and met all of you
Mike-Ross
If you call me on speaker phone, remember that is a huge mistake for you
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Mike-Ross
You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage.
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waterbaby
Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
daisydoll
Does anyone else check their facebook like the morning paper?
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daisydoll
Yesterday I did nothing. Today I'm finishing what I started today.
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daisydoll
The rich get richer, the lazy live for free, the middle class continue to pay for it all. Follow me for more reality checks
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daisydoll
I thought growing old would take longer.
daisydoll
I wish facebook would notify me when someone unfriends me so i could like it
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daisydoll
The best part of waking up...is still a mystery to me
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daisydoll
Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themself
Mike-Ross
Work can't stress you out if you just don't go in...
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Mike-Ross
Dear 8 hours sleep, i miss you so much.
Mike-Ross
I stress about stress before there's even stress to stress about.
Mike-Ross
Hardest thing ever: controlling your laughter at serious times
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Mike-Ross
Warning: my mouth is a bit like a magician's hat...you just never know what's gonna come out of it.
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Mike-Ross
Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way
Mike-Ross
You never know what you have until...you clean your room
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Pixlove
I Dont Always Tolerate Stupid People
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Pixlove
Funny Dogs Being Dogs
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Pixlove
When Youre Having A Rough Day But Trying To Stay Positive
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Pixlove
The Perfect Weight Loss Motivation
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Pixlove
Me Telling My Best Friends My Problems
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Pixlove
Current Situation Cute Funny Image
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Pixlove
The Little Pocket On Your Jeans Is Actually For Your Sakary
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Pixlove
Me Inviting Problems Into My Life
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Pixlove
Baby Drinking Soda For The First Time
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