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JamieFlower
I don't smile before coffee
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- funny quotes
- humor
- good morning
Mike-Ross
I wish facebook would notify me when people delete me.
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- quotes
- quote
- facebook
Mike-Ross
I stress about stress before there's even stress to stress about
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- quotes
- quote
- funny quotes
Mike-Ross
According to doctors, the symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying and napping alot.
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- quotes
- quote
- funny quote
Mike-Ross
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my keys, temper or even my mind. I would be so skinny
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- quotes
- quote
- silly
Mike-Ross
I either cry or turn into a psychopath when I'm mad. There is no inbetween
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- quote
- funny quotes
Mike-Ross
I'm getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach
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- quote
- funny quotes
Mike-Ross
My level of maturity depends on who I'm with
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- quotes
- quote
- funny quotes
RonnySteel
Me at night: Tomorrow I'm going to wake up, clean, cook, and get all errands done
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- lol
- funny quote
- funny quotes
Mike-Ross
When you wake up in the morning and it feels like you only slept for minutes
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- memes
- meme
- lol
Mike-Ross
A man who cooks is attractive. A man who does the dishes is irresistible
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- silly
- lol
- funny quote
Mike-Ross
If you have kids...this collection is called "Not mine"
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- lol
- funny quote
- funny quotes
Mike-Ross
I'm old enough to remember when a wild night out meant skating around in circles while a DJ played music
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- memes
- meme
- lol
Mike-Ross
Today, year olds are asking for the latest iPhone. When I was , I felt like id won the lottery if i had this pen
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- lol
- funny quote
- funny quotes
Mike-Ross
One minute you're young and fun and the next minute you predict the weather with your bad knee
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- funny quote
Mike-Ross
Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say "don't waste electricity"?
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- lol
- funny quote
- funny quotes
RonnySteel
I may look normal but I unfriend people for no reason
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- jokes
- lol
daisydoll
I'm fifty years old, I was on a heating pad eating cheetos
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- funny quote
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- humor
Mike-Ross
I can't wait to walk down the aisle...to find my seat on the plane
MarissaRocks
"The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes" Who??? Who are these people???
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- quotes
- quote
- funny quotes
MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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Dreamer
I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
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- quotes
- quote
- funny quote
RonnySteel
That 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog
MarissaRocks
Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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- funny quotes
- humor
- funny images
MarissaRocks
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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- quotes
- quote
- funny quotes
waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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- quotes
- family
- funny quote
Mike-Ross
Me recharging for 6 months after going out one Saturday night.
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- memes
- meme
- lol
Mike-Ross
Don't worry about getting older. You're still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.
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- quote
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- humor
Mike-Ross
I miss the good ole days when bills didn't have my name on them.
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- quotes
- jokes
- silly
Mike-Ross
Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.
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- quotes
- funny quotes
- humor
Mike-Ross
I never met a problem i couldn't make worse.
Mike-Ross
Every day i wake up wanting to be nice, Then people ruin it for me.
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- quotes
- jokes
- silly
Mike-Ross
Once upon a time, I was young, fun and semi-sane. Then i joined facebook and met all of you
Mike-Ross
You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage.
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- coffee
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- humor
waterbaby
Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
Mike-Ross
I'm proud of myself for not being fake, I'm difficult sometimes and have a few screws loose but I'm 100% me.
daisydoll
Yesterday I did nothing. Today I'm finishing what I started today.
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- fun
- funny quote
- funny quotes
daisydoll
The rich get richer, the lazy live for free, the middle class continue to pay for it all. Follow me for more reality checks
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- quote
- fun
daisydoll
I thought growing old would take longer.
daisydoll
I wish facebook would notify me when someone unfriends me so i could like it
- funny
- quotes
- funny quote
- funny quotes
daisydoll
I'm here in body but not mind...my mind is in bed where my body wishes it could be
daisydoll
The best part of waking up...is still a mystery to me
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- quotes
- quote
- fun
daisydoll
Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themself
daisydoll
I'm not bothered by my age, I just don't like all of the side effects.
- quotes
- quote
- funny quotes
- humor
Mike-Ross
Dear 8 hours sleep, i miss you so much.
Mike-Ross
I stress about stress before there's even stress to stress about.
Mike-Ross
Hardest thing ever: controlling your laughter at serious times
- funny
- funny quotes
- humor
- humor quotes

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