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Similar to Funny facts IIII

MarissaRocks
Recent studies show that the most expensive vehicle to operate in today's world is the grocery cart.
waterbaby
I'm not saying that I'm an expert, but I have a Ph.D in making bad decisions.
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I don't want to party like it's 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it's 1999.
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I'm not crazy, I'm just creatively insane.
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RonnySteel
That 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog
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Enjoy your weekend cause Monday will be here in 20 minutes.
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I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
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waterbaby
I smile because you're my family...i laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
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Mike-Ross
If my man got $0 and I got $1000 we both got $0
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Me looking at my friend if we saw the same thing.
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Me telling my problems to my pet
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Mike-Ross
Your cat is not your baby
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Me recharging for 6 months after going out one Saturday night.
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Me on self-care nights treating myself the way i deserve.
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Me waiting for a text back after I said leave me alone
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How me and my bestie gonna be in 60 years
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When i say extra caramel, this is what I mean
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When your kid is bad but you still love him
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Just call me if you need me....also my phone:
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When i say more sour cream this what I mean
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Me after eating food
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Seeing my sister happy is priceless
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Me listening to a conversation that's none of my business
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Don't worry about getting older. You're still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.
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I miss the good ole days when bills didn't have my name on them.
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Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.
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I never met a problem i couldn't make worse.
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Every day i wake up wanting to be nice, Then people ruin it for me.
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Mike-Ross
Once upon a time, I was young, fun and semi-sane. Then i joined facebook and met all of you
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If you call me on speaker phone, remember that is a huge mistake for you
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You call it coffee. I call it my emotional support beverage.
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Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
daisydoll
Does anyone else check their facebook like the morning paper?
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Yesterday I did nothing. Today I'm finishing what I started today.
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The rich get richer, the lazy live for free, the middle class continue to pay for it all. Follow me for more reality checks
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I thought growing old would take longer.
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I wish facebook would notify me when someone unfriends me so i could like it
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I'm here in body but not mind...my mind is in bed where my body wishes it could be
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The best part of waking up...is still a mystery to me
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Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themself
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I'm not bothered by my age, I just don't like all of the side effects.
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Mike-Ross
Work can't stress you out if you just don't go in...
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Dear 8 hours sleep, i miss you so much.
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I stress about stress before there's even stress to stress about.
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Hardest thing ever: controlling your laughter at serious times
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Warning: my mouth is a bit like a magician's hat...you just never know what's gonna come out of it.
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Mike-Ross
When I text "interesting" this how i be looking
Mike-Ross
If we're in a relationship, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt
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POV: Your girlfriend is on her mood swings
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Boyfriend: you're beautiful
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Texts like this
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Me and my friend before making a bad decision
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Did I lock the door? I have to go back
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I'm 35 but my back in 57. My knee? She turns 73 on Tuesday
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Me overthinking every single thing I do or say
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Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way
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You never know what you have until...you clean your room
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Sometimes you've just got to be a bit anti-social at work
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Some people will just cause work drama for the sake of it, as if they don't actually have a job they should be getting on with.
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You ever had suck a bad day at work that you just came home and sat like this until you calmed down
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Mike-Ross
Do you ever sit at work after a stressful day and just think to yourself...i need to get out of here.
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When you get to work and your colleague who is always late is actually there before you
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Jobs are important, but nothing is more important than your family
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Me trying to find my favorite colleague so i can tell them all the drama that i just overheard
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Me after playing detective
Pixlove
Asked My Girl Out On 29th February Only Have To Celebrate Anniversary Every 4 Years

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