25 Hilarious Stand Up Jokes From Famous Comedians

25 Hilarious Stand Up Jokes From Famous Comedians

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If you're looking for me, I don't want to be found. I need to live where summer never ends Humor May Cleanse You I could gopher some coffee Women have 4 types of showers Where do spiders go shopping? On The Web She's the neighborhood cat lady Happy Halloween: One cannot start Halloween without coffee! Trying to find you some...coffee! Women are Angels, and when someone breaks our wing, we simply fly on a broomstick. We are flexible like that! Why, Yes! I can drive a stick! Why do Mummies have problems keeping friends? What kind of shoes do Ghosts wear? They're creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky! They are altogether ooky. My facebook family! Why do mummies have problems keeping friends? Why was the Mummy so tense?! What kind of mistakes do Ghost make? What do you call a witch on a beach? A Sand witch Told my supervisor that I'm coming to work on Halloween as a ghost This witch can be bribed with chocolate If you want to lose weight you don't need exercise or diet. I won't tell anyone I won the lottery but there will be hints It's another day in paradise, minus the paradise. When you take 17 selfies and still look like this My dad made this for when his girlfriend won't pick a restaurant My toxic trait is telling people I'm down for anything. I'm just sitting here with my onion rings How often do you exercise? Laugh Until You’re Spooked: 10 Funny Halloween Memes You’ll Love 10 Epic Memes to Make You Laugh Out Loud (Seriously, You Might Snort!) That "no work tomorrow" sleep be hitting different The idea of being able to sleep in on your day off sounds great until your body naturally just wakes you up early anyway How single are you right now? Me after arguing with the whole house When you're ready for Fall but wake up to another hot day When you're dead inside but it's the holidays
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